ISSUE 30 Decal, Decal Decal Decal. At the Funnel, Funnel Funnel. Sorry, my pen was skipping tracks there..... Wow, Phunk City eh? Run by those cute little fairy folk from Ultramack records. Don't we love them? Actually, it wasn't just Decal at the Funnel, it was Decal Vs The Wormholes. And there I was, standing up the front waving my hands and waiting for some WWF style warfare until Singer took me aside and explained slowly that the two groups were actually just going to play music together, and not kick the shit out of each other as I had hoped. Awwwwww. I suppose The Wormholes would have won the scrap purely by outnumbering Decal, but I'm sure the U:Mack boys would have got a few sly kicks in before running off screaming like the women they really are. (Ah ha, only messin' lads, so I'm still good for those concession passes yeah?) Well first off, The Funnel is a really nice place, with a nice big, errrr, Funnel thing on the roof just over the bar. And it's got the bestest oil heater type thing in the fucking WORLD!!!! I was freezing my arse off outside Trinity for half an hour before Singer and his sister turned up but boy did I warm up nice and quick when I got into the club. Excellent stuff. And the sound system is ear-poppingly good too. And the toilets are clean. (Not like the 'orrible Fusion bar, hehehehe) And and and, it smells nice, and there's glitter balls everywhere!! (Well, two of them anyway) The Wormholes kick off the evening's entertainment by running up the aisles waving their intercontinental belts around and screaming into the mikes about how they were going to kick Decal's sorry ass. Oh wait, no, that's not what happened. Some bloke on a keyboard started a catchy little organ tune on what looked like the worlds oldest keyboard. I actually thought he was just some sound check dude because he kept at the same little melody for ages, but then the drummer got up on stage and kicked into a seriously head bopping beat followed by the bass player and then wow, sounds a bit like Spiritualized in a way.....the organ dude pulled on a guitar and strummed a bit and even played the harmonica!! And then before I could say "Hey, you're playing a harmonica" some other bloke got up on stage and pulled one of those snake charmer pipes from his pants and started tooting it!! For a minute I thought anybody who had brought an instrument got to jump onto the stage so I started wrapping some tissue around Singer's comb but I was beaten by Decal who jumped up and started kicking the heads of The Wormholes and smacking them with chairs. Ah no, hang on, that didn't happen either, they actually just started playing along with The Wormholes for a while, but unfortunately just as it started to get really interesting (nobody knew what to make of it at first) The Wormholes fucked off and Decal just ended up playing by themselves for the rest of the night. Not a bad thing at all mind you, with such classics as Self-Storage and Pigeyes gets Whacked blasting out into the night sure anybody would be happy with that. It's just that, well, there wasn't enough Wormholes/Decal collaboration. Oh well, I suppose it'd be a bit tricky trying to merge stuff like that together, but it'd sure be nice to see them try it again some time.