Well fuck me in the hole with a pole.. it would seem that there are drugs being sold in the city's nightclubs. The Gardai have warned seven nightclubs that their licenses will be revoked if they dont stamp out drug dealing on the floors completely. Two of
 them are the Red Box and the Kitchen. This is the result of a long operation called
Operation Nightcap, which involved undercover Gardai going into the clubs and buying drugs from dealers on the nightclub floor.
What did the Gardai expect? If they were going to shut down any sort of free parties or house parties every time there was a hint of illegal activities associated with them, then the drug problem was going to be pushed into the nightclubs. Not content wit
h taking all the fun and DIY aspects out of the techno scene, the powers that be have now decided that
any club that lets people in the door who exhibit signs of being on drugs is liable to be shut down. Yes, lets shut down all the nightclubs that make this city that little bit interesting. Instead, in cohorts with those wonderful 'concerned' people in the
 Licensed Vintners Association (how heartwarming it is to see them caring for the young people
of today, trying to steer them away from the evils of drugs, it wouldnt have anything to do with the fact that drugs take away from their profits, oh no, definitely not), the authorities will have us all sitting in nice, safe, boring, expensive, chart-mus
ic 'themed' pubs, making sure that we definitely arent dancing or hugging people or any other type of "indecent"
activity.
This is crazy... how can the Gardai expect a nightclub owner or promoter to stop drugs being sold in a club completely, without putting bouncers on the dancefloor every five metres? Picture the scene if the club had to do this. Any time anyone reached in
their pocket, you'd have a bouncer or a Garda running over to them to search them. You bend down to tie your
shoelace and they instantly think you're pulling drugs out of your shoe. You put your arms in the air or give a shout of exhilaration and next minute you're being turfed out into the street because you might look like you were on something. If nightclub o
wners had to enforce security to the wishes of the Gardai then any good atmosphere in a nightclub would be killed
completely by harassment and intimidation, and people simply wont go there any more. Equally in a club of several hundred people, no matter how much searching you do at the door, or how many people you have walking around, scoping for dealers, there will
ALWAYS be some drugs in a nightclub. People will bring them in via their shoes, hair scrunchies, orifices, whatever.
Rather than push the drug thing underground, which is what these measures will do, the authorities should adopt a safer dancing programme scheme like they have done in Manchester with the Lifeline project, encouraging people to drink water, sit down, chil
l out, and not overdo it. If they shut down the clubs then people will just go elsewhere. Stamping out drug dealing at O'Connell Bridge and various spots around town
didnt eradicate drugs in the city, it just meant that people now called around to dealers houses, or dealers got on mopeds instead. Closing the clubs will simply encourage people do go do drugs in their own houses, or local parks, greens, and courtyards.
Theres only so much you can tell people what not to do, they're eventually going to have to find out for themselves (even if
it is the hard way) that drugs used in excess may eventually seriously fuck them up. You can't beat a message into them. The best thing to do is let them dance in a safe environment, where there is adequate security to stop fights and the like but also en
ough to let people do their own thing.
Of course, the best thing for everyone out there to do is have your own parties.. dont bother going to a crap club with tight security, high door fees, a rigid dress code and high bar prices. Invite all your mates around and tell them all to bring their f
riends. Turn on every radio in the house and tune it into Power FM, so you have an enormous sound system right there in your living room
(and kitchen, and bedrooms, and hall). You can do what you want to, without worrying about some sixteen-stone seven-foot-tall bouncer beating you over the head for looking at him the wrong way.
Yet again these measures are another step to ensure that the alcohol manufacturers keep their profits high, after all, if they get the young people drinking early in the clubs, they'll be drinking for life.

On a related topic, the Minister who brought us the wonderful concept of "Zero Tolerance" (1984 has already happened, dont you know), is now demanding a ban on a certain UK Glossy magazine for allegedly promoting drug use. Hopefully the government will do
 us all a favour and ban them all.. anyway, the offending article in question was akin to a drug phrasebook
for international travellers. In case you were looking for a few E's in say, Canada, but didnt know the local slang terms, this article basically helped you along your way. Quite amusing to say the least. However, some politicians didnt see it that way. S
o for you, the S@E reader, we've put together a phrasebook to be a politician. And these phrases will work whatever country you happen to be in.
So, you've just read an article that you consider offensive. As a public representative, what do you say?
"This article is a danger to our children/the moral fabric of society/the religious values that we cherish so dearly/the protected offspring of the middle class that regularly donate large amounts to my poltical party."
When passing new laws that curb our civil liberties, you say, "These laws are needed to eradicate extremists/punish evil people/harass anyone that the Garda dont like and give them a legitimate excuse to lock people up for long periods of time for no reas
on and even bring a prosecution against them on the word of a single superintendent."
When explaining reasons for economic decline, "This factory closure is due to a global recession/falling interest rates/hundreds of dirty, filthy, illegal immigrants coming over here to our sacred island and destroying it with their foreign ways, and livi
ng off social welfare, even though we've made laws that dont allow them to work while their asylum applications are being considered."
When rezoning green belts for yet more expensive, cramped housing, "This land was rezoned for many young couples looking for houses/to ease the pressue on urban spaces/to make sure that the building contractor gets a fat pay cheque and I also get a nice b
ig fat brown envelope in the post, which is of course a donation to my political party and which I will not benefit from personally at all."
When opening a new factory, "This new scheme will give a great boost to the local economy/attract more foreign investment/employ local people on a contract basis with low wages, bad working conditions, no union, long hours, no holidays and will more than
likely pull out of here in five years when their tax allowances and IDA grants run out."
When discussing your refusal to back a minimum wage, "This move is not economically viable/unadvisable due to current market trends/not going to happen because my friends in IBEC told me not to, and anyway why should I give a shit when I happen to be maki
ng about forty grand a year plus expenses, and even more than that if I'm a Minister."
When caught accepting bribes from businesses for political favours, being involved in a money laundering scam with your druglord cousin, and caught on camera in a brothel indulging in unspeakable acts with prostitutes, rent boys, farm yard animals and a v
ariety of low-grade drugs while all the time preaching about family values and morals, "No comment."
 

James Brown is a Soul Man. I know this to be true because Kod and myself
roared it with the rest of the brothers and sisters, all of us black and
proud for one night only. We roared it back to the man himself as he
gyrated and dazzled in his blindingly tacky yet somehow tasteful sequined
green three piece suit. The night was all about hyped up showmanship and
the James Brown All-Stars band had us drooling for the main attraction ten
minutes into thier ass-kicking set of heavy funked up soul with lots of
groovy guitar riffs and sexy sassy brass sounds. When all of sudden he was
there, you knew about it. He was pure energy. And the dancing cheer ladies
in american flag swimsuits was a strange yet delightful sight to behold.
The caberet style musician was surreal enough for twenty seconds but then
he just became farcical, the result of some cocaine induced promise the
night before, imho. Brown delivered the goods with kicking performances of
SoulMan, I feel Good and Cold Sweat. Roni Size also deliveded a decent set, a lot more exciting on the decks
that his New Forms album would suggest. Enough heavy cool beats so that
you could almost ignore the irritating M.C. talking crap. What the fuck is
the purpose of this plonkers?  We missed Karen Ramirez who had played
first and we don't care. Overall an excellant gig in the Point (shout out
to all those Communications kids in DCU just finished). Pity there isn't
more dance events in the place.